The DOUFO

DOUFO
Daves Out. Underground. 
Freaking Out. 

You ever heard of Social Anxiety Disorder? There are just so many of them these days… I like to pick and choose which one I could possible be… I often ask friends to go ahead and “diagnose” me… Know what I’m sayin?

Allow me to consider the symptoms one by one:

  • Eating or drinking in front of others. I’m sure I’ll spill something all over my clothes or smack my food…
  • Writing or working in front of others.– They are always looking over my shoulder ready to suggest something I can do better.
  • Being the center of attention. OMG everybody’s staring at me.
  • Interacting with people, including dating or going to parties. I can’t wait till this party/date is over so I can get home and be by myself.
  • Asking questions or giving reports in groups. They will think my ideas are ridiculous. Or downright stupid.
  • Using public toilets. – Your kidding right? Home or Quiktrip stores are the only options.
  • Talking on the telephone. Honey, can you call in sick for me?

Perhaps some self medicating Vodka could be the cure? Or would that make it worse? Don’t believe everything you think.